I’m pretty sure we have all been there at some point. I know I have. And if you haven’t yet, you definitely will be…

Maybe you’re confused or upset about playing time. Or maybe you have concerns about your child’s development. Perhaps you don’t understand the philosophy behind tournament selections. It could be anything, really.

Here’s how it starts. You want answers, but you don’t want to be “annoying” or “that guy”, and you don’t want to rock the boat and do anything that may potentially jeopardize your child’s status on the team. So you start by talking to other parents to see if you’re alone in your concerns. Then maybe you find out that you’re not the only one who feels this way. Then the chit chat builds and grows and festers until someone snaps and it’s a whole scene. Meanwhile your coach is over there doing his thing this whole time not knowing anything is wrong.

I have found that it’s always best to nip things in the bud. More often than not, your coach is willing to sit down and have a conversation about what’s concerning you. And if you have that conversation before your frustration builds to the point of an explosion, it’s better for everyone involved, including your child.

 That being said, always wait 24 hours after a specific situation before having a conversation with the coach. At every organization I’ve been a part of, that’s been a hard and fast rule. It allows everyone time to cool off and come to the table with a little bit of perspective, which usually makes for a more productive discussion. I have seen parents attack a coach immediately following a game (usually a loss…) without any regard for the coach’s emotions or need for some down time to process what just happened in the game. This sometimes leads to the coach snapping back at the parent, or just walking away, making the parent even more irate. It’s a lose – lose scenario.

 It’s certainly your right to be your child’s advocate, but how you go about doing that makes all the difference. Address your concerns as they arise in a calm, professional manner. Don’t let things simmer. Don’t sit on your frustrations. Get it off your chest and move on.